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Free Stuff:
Okay, I read and
understand and agree to the EULA
Below. I'm an adult and old enough to
take full responsibility for all my
actions and I want a
Virtual
BoneStamp® Beta free
download now!
Virtual BoneStamp®
Ver .99 Beta
Here it is, and for
now, absolutely free. Of course, first
you must read and agree to the
End User License Agreement
- You understand that you are
an end user (who only makes all of this
possible) and this licensing agreement (EULA)
reflects the fact that software writers
have a much better lobby than do
software users. Therefore, you
have to begin by promising me that you
are at least 18 years old so that when
your copy of this program is
confiscated, my ass won't get put in a
sling for the fact you have it.
Think about it, if you are under 18, you
aren't going to be able to keep this
program a secret long. You will probably
even be impulsive enough to use it at
school until you get caught. As
soon as the school officials and your
parents finish making an example of you
they will turn on me and try to bounce
me off the internet. It may be a free
country and they can't silence me but I
can't afford to set up my own T3 so that
will be the end of BoneStamp. If you will send
me your name and address by e-mail
at least three months before your 18th
birthday, I'll make sure you get a free
copy of Virtual BoneStamp (even if there
is no free Beta Download promotion for
the public) when you are old enough to
send me a copy of your college
registration card. How's that for
a fair way to treat young people?
- Virtual
BoneStamp® Beta should work on any
Windows® 95/98/NT operating system
with sufficient RAM and CPU speed (if
that sounds vague, it is). You
should download it into it's own folder
on your desktop then open it with
Explorer or Run. Just because all those
conditions have been fulfilled doesn't
mean the program will "work"
on your computer. The good news is
that this Beta version of the program is
free of charge. The bad news is
you have just had all the technical
support that is offered. If it doesn't
work, feel free to lament by e-mail but
don't expect help. I know it's
really a bitch being a lowly End User
because until now that's all I've been.
I just don't have the time to support
it.
- Virtual
BoneStamp® Beta works on both my computers
just fine. It also runs fine on
one of my friends computer. It is
intended to run just as well on yours.
The thing is, it may not. It's
not supposed to melt your mother board
or destroy your disk drives but from my
experience anything can happen when you
introduce a new program to your system.
So, by downloading you agree that I
imply no warranty for anything
associated with this program, for all I
know, there is a possibility that just
the process of downloading will lead to
your technical, intellectual, moral,
social, and economic ruin. That
means that even if you can prove my
little program caused your home to burn
down and your wife to become a
promiscuous nymphomaniac, it's not my
responsibility. You surrendered all your
rights to hold me responsible for your
woes as a condition of downloading the
software. Now, if your house burns
down and your wife becomes a promiscuous
nymphomaniac, that would be some damn
bad luck and I would feel sorry for you.
On the other hand, after installing the
program, if either your stereo or your
wife starts to smoke, call the fire
department and the newspaper; not your
lawyer or me.
- Virtual
BoneStamp® Beta generates what we social
scientists call a reactive stimulus.
In fact, the existence of the program
itself is a reactive stimulus. You could
get in trouble just having it on your
computer, even before you lay a
"bone" on anybody. You may
think every nuance of Virtual
BoneStamp® Beta it's funny but
somebody else might take really big
issue with the fact you have it or used
it. So, if all Hell breaks loose
when you download this program and your
life is ruined, call a chaplain; don't
call me or your lawyer.
- You once again affirm that
you are an end user (who only makes all
of this possible) and this licensing
agreement (lowly-EULA) provides that
should you copy this program and parts
of it and resell it or even distribute
the program for free you will be in
violation of the spirit of software
writers and many of the laws of the
United States of America. Not
withstanding that J. Edgar Hoover used
to regularly dress up like a woman, you
understand that should you give this
program away to even one of your
friends, the FBI will hunt you down as
if you just blew up the Boulder
Dam. Finally, you
also accept that all civil state and
Federal Courts, all major and minor
religious deities, and Santa Claus,
himself, forbid you to participate in
any copyright, patent or intellectual
property violations related to this
software. Violaters will be
punished by never getting another
Christmas present and will most likely
be sent straight to Hell. Of course, it
is okay to use the program to flip the
bone to others as long as you don't do
it for profit.
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